Navy Wife Stress

by Colleen
(Texas)

I am a Navy wife, which means my life is constant stress. With my husband out at sea more so than not, I am left to play the roll of Mommy and Daddy to both of our young children while still being the family book keeper, personal shopper, chef, maid, task delegater, mediator, strength and chauffeur.

While doing all of this, I also need to find ways to maintain communication and intimacy with my husband while he's not home while still making sure he is still involved in our lives. While all of this is going on, I am also a full time college student.

None of this is easy and quite honestly, there are times I get pretty upset because while I'm holding everyone else up, no one is there to hold me up. So, when the children are acting up, I have research papers due, I haven't heard from my husband in a few days, money's tight and my patience are short, what do I do?

My Stress Relief

I need to find some way to de-stress so I won't lose my mind. I have found "me time" to be absolutely essential. This is time during the day designated to doing absolutely nothing else but just sit and relax.

I usually do this while either my children are napping or after they go to bed. This gives me time to decompress my thoughts and feelings, collect myself and to check in with myself.

The second thing is that even when my husband can't email me, I email him anyway. I send him several emails throughout the day telling him everything I'm thinking and feeling. I refuse to hide anything I'm thinking and feeling towards him because to me, that wouldn't be any better than lying to him.

And if I'm feeling or thinking something, I don't repress it. That's the worst thing I could do. I deal with my emotions as soon as they arise as to not cause any further issues. I will not do this in front of my children, though. I usually go to the bathroom, cry for a few minutes, collect myself, and I'm better!

Stress is never an easy thing to deal with but it is important to remember that stress is an emotion that needs to be dealt with as soon as possible. If it festers, it will just continue to grow and grow.